Saturday, April 28, 2007

Sugar Bear

Back in the day, Sugar Bear was the King of the Pushers. He pushed sugar, and the kids just couldn't get enough of it. They loved Sugar Bear. They screamed and cried at the grocery store when they saw his picture on a big box of sugary crap and their moms said NO. They screamed until their moms caved in and bought what Sugar Bear was pushing. It would appear that Sugar Bear was also pushing his crappy records too, and maybe Doobee bear and Honey Bear were selling things on the side? Shoobee Bear is the original role model for little kids who would grow up to embrace the modern slacker culture.
You never saw any smart bears hanging around Sugar Bear. He only hired weak loser bears that he could control completely.
He was smart and shrewd, and never ate any of the poison he was pushing. He is out there somewhere, still enjoying wealth and success in the business of sugaring kids up.